31

Today is a good day. Yesterday I talked with my sister and my grandma. I miss hanging out with them. It's not fun to live 9.5 hours away from your family. I bound and determined to go three weeks before the wedding so I can spend quality time with them. I miss them so much!!! When times get tough there's nothing like family. While I don't have much I appreciate those I have. Not to mention hanging out with my grandpa and his '57 Chevy. I had a blast going to Dairy Queen with him with all the other antique cars. Call me crazy but I like working on cars. I just wish I would have grown up working around them. I have a great desire to learn how everything works.... Maybe it's just in my curious nature.

Today is another great day. I'm learning to really analyze situations before saying things. I'm asking God to help me realize that sometimes people say things they don't mean because they're hurting. Sometimes people don't realize that what they say has an effect on other people. I know I sure didn't. I've learned my lesson and from now on I'm abiding by the "If-you-don't-have-anything-nice-to-say, Don't-say-nothing-at all" policy. After so many years of emotional abuse I'm finally learning to respond with love instead of anger. Let me tell you it's quite challenging. I told James yesterday how I wish sometimes my demeanor was more like Dr. Drew's. That man never gets upset about anything. Even if an addict on his show yells, screams or blames him, he responds calmly. I wish I could be just like that and perhaps, with time, I will. I know that God is the reason I'm alive today. If It weren't for him, I don't know that I would have survived. Through all my struggles he's been there with me leading me every step of the way. I've never been a huge fan of organized religion but I am religious. I think that sometimes those kind of people let things go to their heads and possess a "holier than thou" attitude towards others. I don't want to be like that. Yes, I am a Christian but I feel the greatest way to show others is to love them.


That being said I'm really going to put in more effort into giving back to others. I found a group in west Texas that I can be proud to be a part of and I can learn a new skill. I'm really thinking of joining Habitat for Humanity and helping build homes for the less fortunate. It's on my bucket list and since I'm not working, I can do this. I have talked about how I wanted to work but I really feel that I'm being pulled in another direction. Ever since I was a kid I dreamed of being a humanitarian and Mother Teresa was my idol. I can't help but admire those who put their needs aside for others. I can only aspire to be like them.

This is one of my favorite paintings!!

When I say… “I am a Christian”

I’m not shouting “I’m clean livin’.”

I’m whispering “I was lost,

Now I’m found and forgiven.”

When I say… “I am a Christian”

I don’t speak of this with pride.

I’m confessing that I stumble

and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say… “I am a Christian”

I’m not trying to be strong.

I’m professing that I’m weak

And need His strength to carry on.

When I say… “I am a Christian”

I’m not bragging of success.

I’m admitting I have failed

And need God to clean my

mess.

When I say… “I am a Christian”

I’m not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far too visible

But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say… “I am a Christian”

I still feel the sting of pain.

I have my share of heartaches

So I call upon His name.

When I say… “I am a Christian”

I’m not holier than thou,

I’m just a simple sinner

Who received God’s good grace, somehow.

Maya Angelou, you are truly, without a doubt, awesome. 

Gogogadgetgirl